Job: The Orange Crutch
He broke his body working on a heavy, honest clock,
A loyal, bleeding fixture on the South City block.
The doctor wrote the paper for a quiet, orange pill,
A manufactured comfort just to keep the muscles still.
He took the legal dosage to repair the shattered bone,
And woke up in a prison he could never fight alone.
The clinic pulled the tether and they cut the sudden script,
Into the bitter ashes of the withdrawal he slipped.
They blamed the corporate ladder and a faded dotted line,
"Your coverage is restricted and your policy declined."
He sweat through the convulsions on a rusted bathroom floor,
A man without a remedy behind a locked-up door.
The neighborhood companions came to watch the heavy bleed,
But brought a twisted judgment for a man in desperate need.
"You must have skipped the payment or forgot to pay the fee,
The system doesn't punish if you guarantee the plea."
They offered him the pavement and a powder from the street,
A counterfeit salvation for the agony and sweat.
But he refused to take the blame for what he didn't do,
He knew he paid the premium, he knew the ink was true.
He wouldn't take the pavement and he wouldn't curse his name,
He let the brutal fever burn away the chemical frame.
He screamed against the ceiling as the heavy whirlwind hit,
And fought the devil's chemistry inside the deepest pit.
The letter finally landed, proving everything was right,
A bureaucratic error kept the clearance out of sight.
The doctor called to offer him the heavy, orange crutch,
But he had walked the fire and he didn't need the touch.
He beat the raging sickness when they left him in the rust,
And stood upon the pavement, independent, out of dust.
A higher office called him from an agency named Grace,
They saw the brutal trial that the system made him face.
They know the broken process and the damage of the flaw,
So honored how he kept his word and stood before the draw.
Because he beat the fire and survived the bitter strife,
They stamped his policy in full, and covered him for life.
Psalm: Theory of Reason
Father, are you there? Please show me that you care
Will you open your heart and consider my open prayer
Pain for gain ain’t that the reason why I’m here
Will you let me cash in cause I feel the end is near
I know it’s been a while since I tried to cut my wrist
The pain is not as strong but you know it still exists
For the achievement of the climb I know I should persist
I need your quickdraws my falls are too numerous to list
This life of sin brings on bewildered whirlwinds
Even basic life lessons get lost in her winds
Will you reach your hand down take a better grip
Help me discern all these snakes in life's mist
Raise up your voice from the spirit that’s within
The source of life that said when mine will begin
Please grant me acceptance so I can comprehend
And make it through the gates of paradise with no end
Aren't angels made of light with you there for them to see
Satan still convinced a third that they need to leave
My structure is Devil's clay in this maze of decay
You say there's a way out so I'm searching everyday
Don't matter if it's suicide or some other way
Death will be calling so time consumes thought waves
O what a shame wasting my time with complaints
Let me see life from an angle with some bank
I’m consumed between middle class and scraping for change
Not stressing over material things, where’s that part of the maze?
You know in my heart of hearts I’m not after earthly gain
I just want the knowledge from a different picture frame
See if you take that pain it’s really my time you tame
It won’t be the worlds lost cause you can make it gain
My knees are getting tired and my back is feeling the pain
Can I change earth gain to now come from my brain
I need different strains and angels of life’s pain
Please air lift me out to that part of the maze
I'm finally tired of treading in life’s sea of deceit
Will you allow me in the Ark to finish with a defeat
What’s the point of life if not to learn life lessons
Can I taste Solomon's gift, knowledge as a weapon
Human focus is self pride and setting blame aside
I need your insight so stake your claim as my guide
Why shouldn’t The Insider teach humans about ink
Can you send Uriel to teach me to connect the link?
Maybe Gabriel will be my friend and keep me in sync
How should we live and how should humans think
They say life’s pressure of pain will form diamonds
43 years in making, will you shape and shine them
Use them to guide your light in the correct direction
If I was formed to write let me do it with affection
Bring on the calm with this philosophical season
Then I can write as I understand Satan’s treason
You gave her my key, let this be true love I believe in
As she opens my chest, it unleashes theoretical reason
You’ve given me a person of love to calm the nightmares
Now must be the time to understand love and to share
She can see that unique Nick that’s buried deep within
Underneath the rubble of life caused by choosing sin
The fearless Nick who loves free in a world of sin
But I still compromise choosing Satan’s lie of a win
Life teaches everyone is going to hurt you in the end
So severing the heart for self protection is the trend
But we know how to pretend like we’re willing to bend
When we have a severed heart there is nothing to lend
If love is a game then pride is the prize at the end
Help descended Nick win, show the world a God send
I’m ready for true love so show me life’s true win
The whole reason for human life to even begin
Amen
Proverbs: $T.LOUIS
South St.Louis was home for me
Here's a little warning it's not the place to be
Selfish gains atmosphere makes it hard to breathe
Whispers in the air Satan was toying with me
Portal of the abyss the landmark got twist
Represented on the muddy that river flow funny
Shadows of the moon bring out the arches tune
The zombies of ruin yeah the shadows of doom
Closed Larry Rice but that won’t suffice
Demons know the vice causing souls to splice
Go roll the dice but your life will be the price
Better think twice before freebasing that ice
That SB Athletic Club tried to bring style
Problems get solved behind Mural Mile
Know grand larceny can be a problem solver
Neighbors good friends stolen goods they devour
Fred Bird's turnaround was Gussie in 53
Made Antoine town an alcoholics wet dream
The Elsa Lemp Suite didn’t teach anything
Shots of liquid courage allow demons to scheme
St. Alexius Hospital their story plays on screens
13 year old Robbie made his parents grieve
Playing Mr. Ouija a concept you may believe
He met Hell Louise but Jesuits made him leave
Dutch Town, Mt. Pleasant they call it state streets
Girl with a Polar Pop she plays with that meat
Boy with a white tee he has all the treats
The streets teach you that's the path to be king
(Satan)
Come join the team I’ll help you feel supreme
My fentanyl scheme loads those pockets full of cream
I see your eyes gleam wanting to become mainstream
Realm of the unseen will fulfill your every dream
The city is so profound get back on that Greyhound
Start heading home bound this is no play ground
Your going to get clowned boys looking to be crowned
Zombies run south town I told you not to come around
Ecclesiastes: Cheap Amnesia
It never knocks before it enters
But your thoughts it will consume
When you finally find an answer
You still wonder if it’s even truth
Those inescapable ponderings
Why am I here forced to choose
Join all this chaos on the news
Or cut the cord and change views
But whether you unplug or play
The heavy questions always stay
I feel the wind throughout the day
An invisible force always at play
I feel the sun and see its blaze
A fathers eyes upon his maze
The galaxies they guide the night
Mother moon falls guiding light
Here is where answers evade
On the earth in shades of grey
The heavy wooden stool scrapes hard across the floor,
As I pull it to the bar to wash my thoughts ashore.
I just need an hour where the heavy questions sink,
So I sit beside a stranger staring dead into his drink.
He doesn't look my way, just whispers to the glass,
"I'm only sitting here to watch the timeline pass.
I lack the guts to pull the plug and finally end the show,
So I drown it out in amber cause there’s nowhere else to go."
I nod because I know the exact same shade of grey,
The crushing weight of waking up to face another day.
"I feel the vapor too," I say, "the smoke inside the chest,
But freezing in the dark is not a way to find your rest."
"What is the point of fighting when the ending is the same?
We’re just ashes waiting quietly to finally catch a flame."
"Because the ache inside your bones is proof you are alive
We weren't built to just surrender, we were built to drive.
The numbness is a counterfeit, a lie we buy on lease,
The friction of the search is how we finally find the peace."
He traces out the rim and lets out a bitter sigh,
"But what if all this searching only proves the light's a lie?"
"Then I will be the fool who wanders through the night,
Believing that the shadows prove the presence of the light.
I'd rather face the unknown dark and carry all the grief,
Than build a shallow prison out of disbelief."
I slide the untouched glass away and stand back on my feet,
And leave the cheap amnesia for the shadows of the street.
The door swings open wide into the chilling, heavy air,
But the friction of the world is a weight I choose to bear.
The neon keeps on buzzing, the ice begins to melt,
Leaving him to sit with the heaviest truth he's felt.
The heavy door swings shut and cuts the buzzing of the bar,
As chilling wind replaces it beneath a hidden star.
I walk the quiet pavement past the windows glowing bright,
A silent watcher framing up the portraits of the night.
Through one I see a living room illuminated blue,
A family sitting side by side but drifting out of view.
They drown the heavy silence in the flashing of a screen,
Just ghosts inside a house who have forgotten what they mean.
But next door is a kitchen where the shadows softly dance,
A family sharing supper, disconnected from the trance.
They cannot solve the universe or tell you why we spin,
But they found the deepest anchor in the room that they are in.
I reach my own front step and let the heavy shovels fall,
The meaning isn't written on a hidden cosmic wall.
It’s the quiet, simple grace of stepping out of the night,
And pouring all my fiercely guarded love into my wife.
Song of Songs: Mirror
To my love Kelsey,
My whole life I have been searching for that one.
The one who will love me for who I am.
Not who loves for the things that I can do for them.
In your eyes I see GOD has allowed me to have that.
So it forces me to sit and ponder on things.
How can I get so angry at your words?
Why is it that I want to push you away?
When I see such a beautiful face staring back at me.
You’re the one I trust completely.
The one who would never hurt me intentionally.
You’re the one who would lay down your life for mine.
Thanks be to GOD for showing me the answer!
It’s because your eyes are a mirror of me.
When I know you’re not to blame I have to look within.
Yeah it forces me to look at the broken person I am.
It forces me to make a decision.
Do I let you go so I may dwell in my misery alone?
GOD forbid I go back to that place.
No, I must face the man in the mirror.
Your love forces me to be a better person.
I want to Thank You for your patience with me.
I want to Thank GOD for allowing you into my life!
I love you babe and I’m proud to be yours!
Love, Nick